Social Blindness is not a life sentence. Social Ease is possible!

Social Blindness is not a life sentence. Social Ease is possible!

Photo by Providence Doucet

Social Blindness is not a life sentence. Social Ease is possible!

By Eva Angvert Harren, Core Coach and Educator

After years of dealing with anxiety and panic attacks I have found a place of peace and comfort. What I can say about that journey is that it was unnecessarily long.

Had I known then what I know now about body awareness, trauma, and healing, I could have reached peace in my body-mind much sooner. I call it “body-mind” for a reason.

In my world, my mind resides in my body. Everything I do, say, or even think starts in my body first. The beginning of my anxious thoughts, the beginning of my anxiety shows up as a reptilian reaction to a sensation in my body, a ripple of threat, or a sense of lurking doom below my consciousness.

If I don’t catch it there, it continues to take form through my emotions. I get a sense of fear, as if “something is wrong.” The fear forms a “sense of doom” fueled by fight/flight, and by the time it has become a thought that can reach my consciousness, it’s too late. I’m already down the rabbit hole, and it will take so much more effort to shift course.

My “Stop. Drop. Check.” technique is one tool that helps me catch anxiety forming much earlier and shifts it before it gains momentum. I use the Stop. Drop. Check. technique to find my core and become centered, so I can release the pain and discomfort that creates the anxiety. It works wonders.

Stop = Scan your environment. Ask yourself, “Am I safe?” If the answer is no, remove yourself and find a safe place. If the answer is yes, move on to “Drop.”

Drop = Exhale into your body, into yourself. Surrender, not to the situation, but, rather, to your internal Self. Let go and sink inside. When you notice your next exhale, keep your attention directed deep inside your body and move on to “Check.”

Check = Ask yourself, “What am I feeling in my body?” “What sensations can I feel?” Keep your attention on your sensations and notice how you feel. Allow whatever is there to just surface. It bubbles up and dissolves.

The more we can allow the body whatever is going on, the faster we can release the pain that creates the anxiety in the first place. We do not need to rehash the story; we do not need to go back to the trauma. This is about here and now. How can I feel okay with a sense of ease and comfort? Now!

Bottom line: that’s what has been important in my life. Raising two children while “living on an earthquake” and being, in a sense, locked up in a mental and emotional straight-jacket hurts, especially the children.

At that point, what happened in the past is not as important as how to feel better now! Had I known that back then, my recovery time would have been greatly reduced.

When you seek help to deal with your anxiety, anger, or addictive behaviors, make sure the person you decide to trust has training in body awareness. And I personally recommend seeking help from a seasoned Somatic Experiencing Practitioner, or a Certified Tipi Specialist. Your recovery will be so much faster.

I invite you to go to my website for more information: www.BeamLifeCoaching.com

I Just Stood There!

 

I just stood there! The woman had looked at me and asked “didn’t you wear this shirt last time I saw you?”

I froze! How did she know? How could she remember? Was I not supposed to? Is it wrong to wear the same shirt again? How could I know that she was going to be here too?

The rest of the party was a blur. I said the appropriate hello, nice to see you, what a beautiful blouse, oh really, how interesting, and all that stuff.

However, I wasn’t “there.” I had left, already shut down, and crawled into survival mode. I was hiding at the food, as always.

Feeling the effects from the sugar induce coma coming on. Damn it! I did it again! I blew it, and ate all this junk . . . again! To hell with all these parties.

I was just surviving until I could leave. I couldn’t wait to leave! Get out . . . so I could breathe again. How could she remember what I was wearing weeks ago?

Are you supposed to tell people you remember their cloths?  Isn’t that weird? Where is the rule book for this? It freaks me out not to know!

Back home my obsessive brain got the best of me, “I can’t believe you’ll never learn!” “What’s the matter with you?” “You might as well give up!” You’re not getting any friend this way.” And on and on and on.

I just wanted to throw up all the junk and go to bed.

How can we learn how to enjoy social events?

How would you feel if:

You didn’t have anxiety about how your looks?

You were okay with your Self?

You didn’t care about what “they” thought about you?

This wonderful feeling of Ease and Comfort is now available to anyone who’s willing to learn a few skills.

Do you?

If you are interested in learning more about getting unstuck from life-limiting habits or my BEAM LiFE program, connect with me on my website at:  www.evaangvert.com or email me at: Eva@BeamLifeCoaching.com.

 

Stop. Drop. Check.

Stop. Drop. Check.

Social Ease

Social Blindness is not a Life Sentence. Social Ease is possible!

After years of dealing with anxiety and panic attacks I have found a place of peace and comfort. What I can say about that journey is that it was unnecessarily long.

Had I known then what I know now about body-awareness, trauma, and healing, I could have reached peace in my Bodymind much sooner. I call it Bodymind for a reason.

In my world, my mind is residing in my body. Everything I do, say, or even think, starts in my body first. The beginning of my anxious thoughts, the beginning of my anxiety shows up as a reptilian reaction to a sensation in my body, a ripple of threat, or a sense of lurking doom below my consciousness.

If I don’t catch it there it continues to take form through my emotions, I get a sense of fear, like “something is wrong” that is forming a “sense of doom” fueled by fight/flight, and by the time it has become a thought that can reach my consciousness it’s too late. I’m already down the rabbit hole.

Down there, in the rabbit hole there is only pending doom, fears, and panic, no rest, no peace, and no solutions. There is only this vicious spinning of anxiety, tension, and worse scenarios. Down there it will take so much more effort to shift the course, see positive options, and release tension.

However, there is a way to catch the downward spiral in time.

I mention the Stop. Drop. Check. technique as one tool that helps me catch the forming of the anxiety much earlier, and shift it before it gets momentum. I use the Stop. Drop. Check. technique to find my core and become centered so I can release the pain and discomfort that creates the anxiety. It works wonder.

Stop = Scan your environment. Ask yourself, “Am I safe?” If the answer is no, remove yourself and find a safe place. If the answer is yes, move on to ”Drop.”

Drop = Exhale into your body, into yourself. Surrender, not to the situation, surrender to your internal Self. Let go and sink inside. When you notice your next exhale, keep your attention deep into your body and move on to “Check.”

Check = Ask yourself, “What am I feeling in my body?” “What sensations can I feel?” Keep your attention on your sensations and notice how you feel. Allow whatever is there to just surface. It bubbles up and dissolves.

The more we can allow the body whatever is going on, the faster we can release the pain that creates the anxiety in the first place. We do not need to rehash the story; we do not need to go back to the trauma. This is about here and now. How can I feel okay with a sense of ease and comfort? Now!

Bottom line, that’s what has been important in my life. Raising two children while “living in an earthquake,” locked up in a mental and emotional straight-jacket hurts, especially the children.

At that point, “what happened” is not as important as how to feel better now! Had I known that back then, my recovery time would have been greatly reduced.

When you seek help to deal with your anxiety, anger, or addictive behaviors, make sure the person you decide to trust has training in Body-awareness. And I personally recommend to seek help from a seasoned Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. Your recovery will be so much faster . . . and enjoyable.

Go to my website for more information: www.BeamLifeCoaching.com

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